SHIT-HOT COPY, BEAUTIFUL STORIES
LACED WITH PERSONALITY, AND
DANGEROUSLY SEDUCTIVE EMAILS
FOR BOLD ECOM BRANDS
GREAT COPY IS ART
It’s a dance of seduction and persuasion. A potent cocktail of research, knowing what your customer wants, understanding their psychology, and speaking to those deep, hidden desires that drive every purchase decision.
All delivered with creative flair.
It is not about showing up in an inbox every other day with a countdown timer and yet another 20% discount, using fake scarcity and urgency because you think your customer is stupid.
That’s neither influence nor persuasion; it’s the kind of behaviour that kills brands.
Speaking of which…
WE’VE ENTERED A NEW ERA
Since the emergence of AI, we’ve been inundated with painfully boring copy that lacks soul, meaning, and personality.
Never in our history has it been so blatantly obvious to spot the explosion of lazy, destined-to-die brands.
Clearly, those at the helm have little to no understanding of consumer behaviour, psychology, or persuasion. They only know — and blindly trust — what AI provides them.
Boring, overly safe, sterile copy, with no creative flair, that stands for nothing.
You know it. Your customers know it. And because of this, it’s likely never been easier to set yourself apart from the competition.
Why?
Because the competition is killing their customers through death by boredom.
YOUR BRAND
YOUR BRAND
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF
Hi, I’m Nicky. I must have been a bold little bastard in my past life because, for my sins, I have been summoned here by the big man to write love letters to help grow your brand and generate sales.
Let’s spit facts: Writing is essential to the success of your business. It’s also a royal pain in the ass. My job is simply to alleviate your pain, impart my wisdom, free up your time, make you wealthier, and your business more successful.
I inhale books and courses on e-commerce, writing, psychology & advertising. I also take great pride in my work, and most importantly, I know how to get you results.
The bolder the better: 70% average open rates and 50% attributed revenue from email and SMS is not a lofty goal.
Want the best of both worlds? Outsider input from a team player you can trust, one who is obsessed with getting you the best possible results for a fraction of what it would cost in-house or through an expensive agency that pays their writers less than $2k per month.
If you have a bold brand with edge, attitude, and a damn good product, there’s never been a time in our history to sprinkle your pages and emails with personality-driven copy that sets you apart from the rest.
Hand me the ink, we’ll break the rules and get you the results you deserve.
IT’S TIME TO TAKE A STAND
At the heart of every memorable brand with a cult following are stories that captivate.
Apple does it. Nike does it. Frank Body does it. Lululemon does it. Paynter Jacket does it… And WeWork did it… that is, until the owner let greed get the better of him and fucked it all up for all. But that’s a story for another day.
Iff you wish to create longevity and grow a cult following, showing up in an inbox with fake scarcity and urgency won’t cut it.
Neither will filling your pages with Shopify or Klaviyo’s standardised copy used in templates to satisfy hundreds of thousands of customers.
You must tell stories. You must stand for something. You must have a personality of your own.
Because without passion, connection, and story, you’re just like the vast majority of brands out there using rinse-and-repeat copy that lacks style, substance, and originality. Totally and utterly forgetful.
MY CLIENT PROMISE
"GUYS!!!
I don't know what the f*ck you've changed recently but holy shit you're killing it…
I don't know any other brand whose emails speak so true to their tone of voice."
While I'm more inclined towards modesty, I know exactly what changed:
They hired me!